Retrospection

It’s that time of the year again.. when I think of what happened and how could I have handled it better..

2013 has been a mixed bag of sorts.. brought in its wake.. Anxiety, Confusion, Marriage, Love (in that order), Despair, Homesickness, Restlessness, Hope, Joy.. and what not! It has been a year of change.. of uprooting.. of moving out of my comfort zone.. of accepting someone and a whole family as my own.. of coming to terms with unemployment.. of realization that there’s a lot in this whole wide world that I am yet to learn..

You win some, you lose some.. that pretty much sums up 2013 for me..

Wins:

A wonderful partner for life..

And a huge warm family..

Discovery that life outside Mumbai can be beautiful..

Knowledge that I speak my mother tongue quite well.. [Brag.. me? Never!]

Losses:

A few close friendships to misunderstandings..

Geographical proximity to my parents..

Confidence in ease of finding a job as per my terms..

I wondered at the confidence some unexpected people showed in me.. and faltered at the lack of support from certain quarters..

There is so much to explore, adapt and learn in life.. I thought, I know and I have experienced a whole lot of things.. Reality is.. No school teaches you to be prepared for shocks in life.. You learn from experience..

I am hoping that all this has helped me learn and there hasn’t been any year as eventful as this in my whole life.. atleast the part that I remember..

A roller-coaster.. an emotional one at that.. 2013.. you made me.. a wee bit more enlightened..

You..

You amaze me..
You stun me..

Such an unassuming look you air..
Capable of making me think why do I dare..

I could look at you all day..
At the end of it, I still pray..

Six yards of bewilderment..
You bewitch me and scare me!

[after a nerve-racking "successful" attempt at wearing a saree]

 

First rains in Kerala

The wind sweeps away..
The coconut trees sway..

Raindrops create music divine..
With weather so fine..

Moments which you shouldn't fetter..
How I wish I could pen this better..

Mausam ye Awesome bada

Saying Goodbye..

It had been lying in my drafts for a long time.. painstakingly chosen words which had to convey what I meant.. they had to be just right, not too sentimental and not too dry..
To whom were these words addressed to? A whole bunch of people.. some of whom who mean a lot to me.. who have helped me out in times of need.. some who have brought some laughter and relief.. some who have been partners in crime.. and some who have made me pull at my hair in despair..
They say you learn to take the good with the bad.. I can say I have tried my best.. not without my share of bitching and cribbing.. I have not been perfect, I know that.. but who doesn't like a ego-boosting farewell..

A smattering of saccharine, well-meant words, some applause, some smiles.. and some genuine tears.. was what I got on my last day at work.. The last day at work of my first job.. Four and a half years is not a lot.. for me.. it was a lot.. It wasn't easy.. but someone made the decision easier.. and I thank that person for his undying support..

A crowd of faces who smiled back at me, waiting for me to say something.. what do I say.. You can't encompass your feelings into a few words.. which sound appropriate.. I didn't want to break down.. The cake saved the day.. the sumptuous, absolutely lovely looking chocolate cake.. which had to face the unlucky fate of being smeared on my face! :)

I will miss everyone and everything.. the laughter, the food, the leg-pulling, the fights, the cribbing, the pressure, the sleepless nights, the excel & ppt tips.. all of it! Couldn't have asked for a better start to my career than what I had.. I hope I have been able to measure upto the set standards.. and I apologise for the mistakes, inadvertent or not..